I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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