Bisexual people are plain selfish.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
