your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just cut my nipple shaving
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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