I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
