No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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