oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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