More tranny stories later!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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