come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
