Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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