I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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