It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
