He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
