I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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