At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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