So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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