okay pat passed out under dana's car
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
