Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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