Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
