i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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