Buhtt sex?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
