But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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