brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
