I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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