I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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