dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think your dad took our porno
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
