I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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