My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dick very happy bro
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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