Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
