if i can run in heels then i can drive
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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