im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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