wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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