drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
