he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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