apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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