I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
