Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We left an ass print on the piano.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
