so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There was a lot of him and a little penis
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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