Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
someone get that fucking seahorse.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
