Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I died a long time ago.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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