I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
