Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
