Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
