Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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