Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
