I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
