Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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