ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
