Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
