At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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