SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
