Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
